Can broad goals make you happier?

broad, goals, happier, happiness, happy, life, research, scientific, specificity, study

A Better Man

You might have heard that the best way to achieve something you want to do is to make specific rules. But specificity isn’t always the right approach. When you’re trying to live in the moment, give the goals a rest.

In a study published in March in the Journal of Consumer Psychology, corresponding author Rohini Ahluwalia and her team described how reframing your mindset about the near future can drastically alter how long you can hang on to your happiness. You might think that if you make specific plans for how you’ll use a new purchase, for example, you’ll get the most happiness out it. “With this new pair of hiking boots, I’ll have an exciting time climbing my first 14er!” might seem like a good goal to have — and it’s probably the best way to actually achieve a measurable accomplishment. But if you want to ensure that you…

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Nothing is Absolute

Happiness, Life, Loss, Love, Philosophy, Relationsips, Uncategorized

Nothing is Absolute

FRIDA

“Nothing is absolute, everything changes, everything moves, everything revolutionizes, all flies and goes.” This is life. Nothing is ever constant, relationships, people, and most importantly who you are is infinitely changing. This quote from my favorite artist, Frida Kahlo, brings me back to my college days, studying philosophy. You can “never step in the same river twice, for it is not the same river and he’s not the same man”. Although this quote is from the Greek philosopher Heraclitus, I felt it connected most deeply to my soul when studying Taoism.

The Philosophy of Taosim is rooted in understanding that nothing and no one belongs to you, life is ever changing, and accepting those things will bring you peace. I know it sounds universally simplistic, but it is a cryptogram when faced with the hardships of life. When I look back on the past 32 years of my existence…

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Not A Pretty Girl

ani difranco, awareness, confidence, feminine, girl, know thyself, life, music, self, self esteem, self-confidence, self-worth

going outwords & inwords

Inspired by an Ani Difranco song that I’ve refashioned and have been playing & singing lately on the guitar, here are some of the ways my “I am not a pretty girl, that is not what I do” expresses itself:

I wear the same basic outfit every day: brown pants/green shirt; my idea of hair care involves washing it 2-3 times a week (no cutting, styling, dying, or whatever else-ing most women tend to do); I wouldn’t know how to apply makeup even if I had it; the few pieces of jewelry I own were given to me by well-intentioned people who don’t know me well enough to know I will never wear it; when I’m in a bar to hear music, I’m the girl armed with a pocket notebook and pen jotting down observational notes; I own 3 pairs of shoes: crocs, snow boots, and motorcycle boots; I’m not…

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Unlock the cage with consistent action and habits

anxiety , confidence , depression , growth mindset , happiness , happy , inspiration , life , mental health , mindfulness , motivation , social media , wellbeing

Anxious-Ambition.com

Aristotle said: “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit.”

I’m unsure if it’s possible, in words, to describe just how important these words are to me. This philosophy; this belief that skills, thoughts, beliefs, habits, personality even, can be changed/altered/grown (or discarded) with regular practice, is something that I discovered in my mid to late-twenties.

Without this shift in mindset, I’m not sure where I would be today.

I can hazard a guess that I’d be stuck, still, in that cage of fixed mindset; imprisoned by my own self-imposed limitations, beliefs deeply routed in what I wasn’t able to do.

Without this shift in mindset, I can think of countless experiences that I would have never had; challenges I would have never attempted; battles never fought; true friends never met; pride and self-belief never felt.

So whilst I’m not overly interest in being…

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Live for you, not for others

advice , being happy , disappointment , finding yourself , happiness , life , living , living for you , self discovery , taking control

LIFE, LOVE, LESSONS

Get your cup of coffee in hand, it’s story time. I’ve lived a very complex life, not hard but also not a bed of roses. All my life I’ve been the “perfect kid”. I’m 23 by the way. I don’t party, don’t drink and smoke. Don’t do much risk taking either. Always been an A student, did things by the book and always carried the tittle of “perfect kid”. I was always told that I’m going to excell and do great in life, get my family out of poverty and become an example to my siblings. All my life I had that, that’s what was expected of me and I guess I did alright given the circumstances. I was always told what to do. I never allowed myself to make mistakes because I didn’t want to hurt anyone.

For a long time I did what was expected of me and…

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Let’s Talk Mental Health… and Let’s Also Listen

BellLetsTalk, mentalhealth, active listening, bipolar, bipolar disorder, listening, mental health, mental health conditions, mental illness, needs, radical acceptance, self care, thriving, wellness

Sound Mind

img_20190130_1501182584475289108759147.jpgIn the wake of Blue Monday on January 15th, Hi, How Are You? Day on the 22nd, and the #BellLetsTalk campaign on the 30th, I have been thinking about how to engage more deeply in our mental health conversation this month, and throughout the rest of the year.

I try to ask questions that open up the conversation further like “How are you?…Really?“How did _____ make you feel?” “Are you talking to someone regularly?” I also make a point of talking about and embracing the full spectrum of mental health care, from “safer” topics of everyday self-care, to acknowledging how immensely frightening suicidal thoughts or full-blown psychosis can feel. (I know, I’ve been there).

Talking with courage and embracing vulnerability by sharing openly is an important first step, but a way to engage more, is to actually listen to each other. When we talk about mental health…

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The Pursuit of Unhappiness

happiness, illusion, pursuit of happiness, self-deceit

Reflections by Doc Arnett

Sometimes it occurs to me that the real issue in most, perhaps all, of my disappointments is a misinterpretation of what life is about. More specifically, about what my life is about.

God’s plan for me is not about my gratification, my achievement or my happiness; it is about bringing people to salvation. It is about advancing the gospel and building up the body of Christ, preparing and equipping us for good works. It is also about preparing us for eternity, bringing us to the fullness of the image of Christ.

Contrary to one of the illusions neatly tucked away into our Declaration of Independence, happiness is not something obtained through pursuit. It is a by-product, not a goal. The more deliberately we focus on our own happiness, the more elusive it will be. It is gained through surrender, not through overwhelming force. It is a choice, not an accomplishment.

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