I asked my followers to share instances where rejection actually turned out to be redirection and helped them get to a better place in their lives. And I’m hoping it’ll inspire each person reading this into believing that better days are coming.
How perfectionism keeps us stuck:
- It keeps us avoiding and procrastinating: If I can’t do it perfect (and I know I probably can’t) then why should I waste my time doing it at all?
- It’s attached to shame with a constant feeling of “Not-Good-Enough-ness”
- It keeps us trying, stumbling, self-deprecating, and unfulfilled
- It keeps us hustling to manage the unwanted perceptions of others
- It’s a creativity killer
Confidence, gurus, self-esteem, success
We’ve all seen self-improvement articles here and there, haven’t we? They’re usually associated with some handsome/pretty looking guru with a nice, mansion-owning smile. They often talk about being productive and assure us that meditation and a solid morning routine are so frickin’ important. Now, I could trash talk this type of person all day, and I’ve already made one post about them. However, today I want to primarily focus on a single question, and it’s right in the title: Is being confident really the key to success?
To me the answer seems to be mixed. Being confident probably won’t hurt you, but it’s more important to simply have the right connections. To do that, you actually don’t want to seem overly confident to people, because they’ll (probably rightly) assume you’re a stupid, endlessly self-praising asshole. However, it is true that cocky, confident people can get ahead in this world, so…
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failure, happiness, success, wellbeing
A year ago, I would have said that success to me looks like a big house in an affluent area, a posh car, a high-level job, a family, kids in good schools and a home that looks like a Barker and Stonehouse showroom. I assessed my life, I owned a 3-bedroom house, in an affluent area, in the catchment for outstanding schools. I had a job, a car and a Barker and Stonehouse dining tale that I love, halfway there I thought.
‘Is that how I should be measuring my life?’
Halfway where? Was I halfway happy? Is that how I should be measuring my life? Myself? Was my glass half full or half empty? In truth, my glass had been thrown at the wall and smashed to smithereens. My ideals of life weren’t quite working out and I was far from happy. My ‘perfect home’, my first-time buy wasn’t…
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goal setting, letters to my unborn child, paperoligarch, school, success
Impostor syndrome – [also known as impostor phenomenon, fraud syndrome or the impostor experience] – is a psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their accomplishments and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a “fraud”.
“Despite external evidence of their competence, those experiencing this phenomenon remain convinced that they are frauds, and do not deserve all they have achieved. Individuals with this syndrome incorrectly attribute their success to luck, or as a result of deceiving others into thinking they are more intelligent than they perceive themselves to be. While early research focused on the prevalence among high-achieving women, impostor syndrome has been recognized to affect both men and women equally.”
Symptoms: Impostor experience may be accompanied by anxiety, stress, or depression and is associated with thoughts such as: “I must not fail“, “I feel like a fake“, “I just got…
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happiness, meaning, wellbeing
Are you well? Are you happy? Can you be one without the other? And what is the difference anyway?
Kahneman and Riis explain that our sense of happiness is affected by two factors: how positive we feel right now (‘experienced’ happiness) and how positive we feel our life has been overall (‘evaluated’ happiness).
Wellbeing is more complex. It is a concept that incorporates happiness but also involves our perceived ability to function successfully in the world. How much control do you feel in life? How much meaning do you derive from life? How much do you feel that what you are doing matters?
Wellbeing is about good feelingandgood function. This is why Positive Education and Positive Psychology are, ultimately, focussed on developing wellbeing.
But don’t dismiss happiness itself. Remember that happiness, in its own right, is linked to better health, greater productivity, reduced depression, stronger relationships, and…
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anxiety , confidence , depression , growth mindset , happiness , happy , inspiration , life , mental health , mindfulness , motivation , social media , wellbeing
Aristotle said: “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit.”
I’m unsure if it’s possible, in words, to describe just how important these words are to me. This philosophy; this belief that skills, thoughts, beliefs, habits, personality even, can be changed/altered/grown (or discarded) with regular practice, is something that I discovered in my mid to late-twenties.
Without this shift in mindset, I’m not sure where I would be today.
I can hazard a guess that I’d be stuck, still, in that cage of fixed mindset; imprisoned by my own self-imposed limitations, beliefs deeply routed in what I wasn’t able to do.
Without this shift in mindset, I can think of countless experiences that I would have never had; challenges I would have never attempted; battles never fought; true friends never met; pride and self-belief never felt.
So whilst I’m not overly interest in being…
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