I fear that my grasp on happy is so fragile that it is tested every single day

Keywords: Cece V , Cece’s Voyage , happiness , Happy , Self-care

Now that I have a revised definition, the hindrances to my happy are glaringly obvious. I crave quiet time, free time, and writing time but rarely have either. I crave being surrounded by things that make me smile. My job is filled with more tasks that frustrate me than those that make me feel fulfilled. And, no matter how much I try, I find it’s difficult to feel present in my body even if my mind is present in the moment; the two are rarely aligned and in agreement. Nearly everything in my life is a responsibility or obligation. The list of things that bring me joy is pretty small, and the furnishing and items around me do not bring me joy. And despite my best wishes, I am practically a sitcom mom. You know the one. She loves her family but is five seconds away from losing her ever-loving mind. It’s not my family, but rather the imbalance of not meeting my own needs, which are so simple yet elusive.

https://cecesvoyage.com/2021/06/23/im-just-trying-to-be-happy

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