You have to be able to treat yourself like someone that you love

Keywords: happiness, life, lockdown, love yourself, self love

I have spent so long criticising myself telling myself that I don’t make my family proud because of my mistakes and that no one truly loves me because they all just feel sorry for me so they stick around. I often fail to forgive myself for the mistakes I make (even though its only part of being human). I’ve spent so much time stood in the mirror in my underwear just staring at myself and my body picking apart every single thing I dislike about myself like my thighs being too big, my tummy getting rolls when I sit down and leaving lines when I sit for too long, the fat on my back, the fact I have no triceps, the way my hair falls naturally honestly the list goes on and even though everyone would tell me there’s nothing wrong with me id still see it no matter what anyone said.

https://cerysallen.wordpress.com/2020/07/04/learning-to-love-myself

Perfection results in avoidance, procrastination, poor time management, process addiction, fitting in instead of belonging, conditional self-worth, relentless management of others’ perceptions, and in general, a lack of joy, creativity, courage, compassion, fulfillment and wholehearted living

How perfectionism keeps us stuck:

  1. It keeps us avoiding and procrastinating: If I can’t do it perfect (and I know I probably can’t) then why should I waste my time doing it at all?
  2. It’s attached to shame with a constant feeling of “Not-Good-Enough-ness”
  3. It keeps us trying, stumbling, self-deprecating, and unfulfilled
  4. It keeps us hustling to manage the unwanted perceptions of others
  5. It’s a creativity killer

https://vulnerablevoice.blog/2020/03/12/confessions-of-a-recovering-perfectionist-when-perfectionism-keeps-you-from-writing-a-blog-post-about-perfectionism

We all do stupid shit.

adulthood, adulting, anxiety, bipolar, depression, life, mental health, mental illness, recovery

Crazy Little Things

Hey everyone,

Did I ever tell you that about the time I was in such a rush to get home because I felt like anxiety was closing the world in around me, that I walked up to the wrong house and was trying to open the door with my key for a good few minutes. I can laugh about it now because I must have looked like an idiot cursing at a door that didn’t belong to me ( thank god no one was home). I remember finally realising that I was telling the wrong door to ” fucking open you piece of shit”, I felt like anxiety was going to swallow me whole. I was only one house along, and as soon as I closed my front door, I cried my eyes out. Was I crying over the original anxiety or the new anxiety from trying to get into…

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Depression compression

depression , mentalhealth , selfcompassion , shame

The Stories in my Head

This week, I’d like to continue to write honestly about how I haven’t been feeling the greatest. Part of me feels a little bit annoying and pitiful, but another part of me is screaming screw it! I started this blog to be transparent and honest, and to focus on mental health. And the honest truth is that life’s journey is full of ups and downs, and I will be damned if I have to hide the parts of my life that aren’t sunshine and rainbows.

As someone who is predisposed to depression, I have slowly started to realize (and am striving to accept) that I will always have a tendency to be pulled downward into the spiral of depression. Especially when life throws curve balls – and let’s face it: life is full of those!

I have a tendency to feel ashamed of my emotions, which often pushes me to…

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I Have No Idea What I’m Doing

empathy , introspection , personal growth , self confidence , social media

L'épanouissement

In university, a classmate of mine once told me, “you always look like you’ve got your shit together.” I laughed, thinking that he must be joking, but he didn’t laugh with me. This guy really thought I had everything figured out. Me, the girl who had to hold cold spoons to her face before meeting him for lunch to hide the puffiness from her stress crying. Me, the one with hopelessly dark circles beneath her eyes from staying awake all night freaking out about the uncertainty of the future. That’s the me who looks like she’s got everything figured out?

Apparently so, because that wasn’t the first or last time I heard someone say that about me. Years later on my first trip to France, I met one of my husband’s co-workers, and by “met” I mean that I was too shy to speak much French and let him do…

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The Importance Of Self Care

chakra , happiness , love-yourself , meditate , meditation , self-care , self-love , soul , yoga

selfcare-elf

Self care is something a lot of us – including me, tend to skimp out on. Whether it be because we are “too busy” or just don’t think it matters, all of us need to step up our game. No matter how much you want to deny it, self care WILL increase the health of your mind, body, and soul. One thing to remember, is that self care is not a one time deal. You have to commit. You have to force yourself to do what makes you feel good, even when all you want to do is lay in bed.

In this post, I wanted to give some ideas on what you can do to self care.

  1. Turn off electronics for a few hours. You would be surprised at how much better you feel without the weight of social media!
  2. Spend time playing with a pet. Throw a ball…

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When can I start enjoying life?

Abraham Hicks, burdens, childhood, happiness, joy, suffering, virtue

zacalstin

I was taught as a child that if I just endured, shared in the burden, and patiently helped out, then we could all relax together when the struggles and the chores were complete.

I was taught that it was selfish to be happy and feel good and enjoy life when other people are suffering and burdened, especially when they are burdened for your sake.

I accepted and internalised these themes, and I even believed they were virtuous.

Messed up virtues

The first theme sounds a bit like delayed gratification, except that delayed gratification is still all about the enjoyment that awaits in the future, whereas I was taught to focus firmly on the burdens that exist in the present.

Not so much that it’s more satisfying to relax in a nice clean house; more that you should not relax when there are things that need to be done…and aren’t there…

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