I’m not sure what I’m waiting for, but I’m waiting!

Keywords: anxiety , covid , covid19 , lockdown , lonely , new normal , restrictions , social anxiety

I sometimes feel a pang of relief when the few plans that I have get cancelled. I feel a bit guilty about that, like there is an expectation now that I should feel grateful for the opportunities that we have and I must pack my diary to the brim with events and occasions. As an extroverted introvert, I’ve often battled with wanting plans and wanting to cancel plans. I think lockdowns and restrictions took the pressure off this for those like me!
https://grimandtonic.home.blog/2021/07/05/anyone-else-feeling-stuck-in-lockdown-limbo

I am not where I thought I would be in my life

Keywords: anxiety , books , crisis help , depression , frogger , goodreads , help , helplines , mental health , ptsd , reaching out , suicide prevention

While I LOVE,LOVE,LOVE my books, I love my child: I thought that by now that I would not be where I am but in a better space. I could be in a worse one but I do not feel like I am where I should be. I absolutely love my kid and would do anything for them( I only have one but I feel like using this identifier for the moment).
https://ravinscarface.wordpress.com/2021/07/05/reaching-out

Sometimes it’s as if I’m trying to justify my existence in this world, to at least not feel guilty for existing

Keywords: personal , contentment , encouragement , experiencing life , feeling lost , growing up , inspirational , life , life lesson , positivity , relatable

To convince myself that I am at least good at something, I must be good at something. And that it’s okay to be mediocre, it’s okay to not be outstanding. That I don’t need to be that one person people remember when they are thinking about something, for example talk show, perhaps people will immediately think about Oprah, or Ellen. Something like that.
https://writtentidbits.wordpress.com/2021/07/02/i-want-to-stop-feeling-guilty-for-existing

Just imagine how much more energy I’d have to work toward what I want to be working toward if I wasn’t using it all up being anxious and/or angry with myself all the time

Keywords: anxiety , false narratives , inner voice , inner work , lies , mental health , progress , psychology , self care , self criticism , self help , self improvement , self love , therapy

I feel so much freer after realizing the absurdity of just that one lie my inner voice was preaching. I’m sure there are many more false narratives in my head to unravel. The next time my inner voice is telling me something that makes me feel badly about myself, instead of just accepting it as fact, I want to challenge it. If it’s too hard to disengage from in the moment, it might also be a good idea to simply write down what your inner voice is telling you in that moment. Then once you’ve gotten some space from the situation, you can come back and take a look at what you wrote down. I hope we can all learn to listen to our own inner voice in a neutral, passive way so that we may learn something new about ourselves and hopefully discover new ways to improve our lives and our relationship with ourself.
https://amethystlamb.wordpress.com/2021/06/27/false-narratives

I fear that my grasp on happy is so fragile that it is tested every single day

Keywords: Cece V , Cece’s Voyage , happiness , Happy , Self-care

Now that I have a revised definition, the hindrances to my happy are glaringly obvious. I crave quiet time, free time, and writing time but rarely have either. I crave being surrounded by things that make me smile. My job is filled with more tasks that frustrate me than those that make me feel fulfilled. And, no matter how much I try, I find it’s difficult to feel present in my body even if my mind is present in the moment; the two are rarely aligned and in agreement. Nearly everything in my life is a responsibility or obligation. The list of things that bring me joy is pretty small, and the furnishing and items around me do not bring me joy. And despite my best wishes, I am practically a sitcom mom. You know the one. She loves her family but is five seconds away from losing her ever-loving mind. It’s not my family, but rather the imbalance of not meeting my own needs, which are so simple yet elusive.
https://cecesvoyage.com/2021/06/23/im-just-trying-to-be-happy