Category: essay

Stop expecting you from people.

motherhood , lifestyle , motherhood blog , lifestyle blog , boy mom , working mama , mama , personal blog , friendships , friend , love

Somehow Surviving

One of the harshest realities I have learned lately is to not expect other people to do what you would do for them. It’s an easy philosophy to understand on the surface but when it comes down to the roots of what it really means, for me it’s led to a lot of heartache. Isn’t that a thing also? Expectation is the root of all heartache?

I have found that just because you have a big heart doesn’t mean everyone else does. You can spent your time doing things that are meaningful and worthwhile to you and there will still be people who don’t understand your motivation.

Just because you love someone’s child a certain way doesn’t mean they will love yours the same. For some people it is not all about snuggles and hugs and kisses and spending time together; some people are not impacted by your child’s pretense…

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Other People’s Feelings Are NOT Your Responsibility.

Career, Family, Lifestyle

This Intentional Life

I am always reading. I typically read a few books at a time, usually three to four, all about different topics and one of the ones that I’m reading right now is Girl, Stop Apologizing by Rachel Hollis. I read this excerpt and it just hit me so hard that I haven’t stopped thinking about it.

“I was raised with a voice of authority that was male. My daddy is a strong and very forceful personality, and he demanded total obedience. I learned to live in hope of his approval and terrified of his displeasure. Then I met my husband when I was nineteen years old, and though he is a very different kind of man, I can recognize in retrospect that I transferred my feelings about my father to my husband. I was utterly codependent. I lived every day to please him and make him happy, and if…

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Going Gray with Narcissists/Toxic People

active , gray , narcissism , narcissist , narcissistic abuse , passive , recovery , relationships , toxic people

Groomed but Escaped

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Going gray is considered the best, perhaps only way, to deal with narcissists and other toxic people.  This is easy if you are completely breaking ties with someone you can walk away from.  But what about the people in your life you can’t escape?

Two summers ago I had a major altercation with my parents.  We had not talked for months, and  I was surprised when they asked to take me out to dinner.

The evening was fine.  We discussed frivolous topics.  Any time the conversation steered towards anything sensitive, I changed the subject.  It was hard work for me.  This is the part of “going gray” I did not understand –  going gray is not a passive endeavor, it is an active technique.

I was exhausted by the end of the evening.  As we left the restaurant my dad suggested we discuss what had happened over the summer.  I…

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We Can’t Fix Other People

Emotions, fixing people, Freedom, Love, Relationship, vulnerability

A Girl on Her Own

We can’t fix other people. We’d love to, I know. We’d solve all the world’s problems if we could just make them do things our way. Right?

However, it’s becoming common knowledge today that you can’t fix other people. Not because they’re broken and hopeless, but because you’re not them and you don’t share the same operating system. It’s not as much an issue as we can’t, but we shouldn’t.

But…because other people impact our lives, we try.

We can't fix other people. We'd love to, I know. We'd solve all the world's problems if we could just make them do things our way. Right?I can attest because I’m a person who seems to need fixing. I lead a pretty unconventional life as a writer. I make choices that serve my craft, not the social norm and that sometimes gets me in sticky spots. On top of that, I’m introspective and sensitive. I tend to be pretty open and vulnerable these days. If I’m feeling challenged or surprised by something, I’ll probably share and that often…

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My Fitness Journey | Choosing Yourself First

life , inspiration , fitness , fitness motivation , love , fitness journey , love yourself , choose yourself first

Blissfully jess

“You haven’t been yourself in about 2-3
years” is what my mom said to me a year ago. We were
having a conversation about possible depression and seeing my doctor to get on
an antidepressant. I didn’t have health insurance at the time, so we were
trying to figure out how I was going to pay for the doctor visit, as well as
the medication. I was a mess, my mental health was a mess.

I had just started a job that I thought was my “big break” I was looking for to get my career off the ground. I was trying to convince myself that I enjoyed this job, but I really didn’t. I hated it and wasn’t good at it, at all. I would pack a gym bag to go to the gym right after work, but would talk myself out of actually going because I was “too…

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Self-Love: What Is it, and How Can I Get It?

happiness, higher self, inner voice, love, personal development, self-help, self-improvement, self-love, self-worth, soul

Soul Revival

Self-love, self-worth, self-help, personal development, self-improvement, happiness, love, spirituality, soul, inner voice

Self-Love Defined

Self-love can sound like such a mushy-gushy (even creepy!) topic, but behind the name is a FUNDAMENTAL part of finding lasting happiness — totally worth embracing if you’re ready to up-level your life in a major way!

Life Coach Christine Arylodefines self-love as an “unconditional love and respect that you give yourself that allows you to, no matter what, only choose loving, respectful relationships and situations that honor your heart and soul.” Doesn’t that sound wonderful? No more less-than-we-deserve relationships, no more arbitrary obligations, no more playing it small in terms of our goals and dreams?!

We all know what self-love is, even if we think we don’t — it’s in those glowing people we know, who radiate self-confidence and positivity and seem to move through life with ease and enjoyment. These are the visible hallmarks of self-love.  The great news? Each of us can…

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You’re blocked

happiness, personal effectiveness, resilience

ctraceyb

One of my many talents is being able to project negatively into the future and predict calamity and doom.  Although it is something, I am good at, it is not good for my wellbeing and resilience.  And oftent I find myself worrying about something that will never happen.  I am aware that people say ‘plan for the worst and hope for the best’, however I think we can struggle with the later.  

The trouble is worrying is a complete waste of time and energy because we worry about something that may never happen and then if it does, we worry again.  We could half the time spent worrying by just waiting to see if we actually need to.  When you get right down to it, it is inefficient and we could use the time more wisely. 

So I have decided…

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Identity

actions, beliefs, happiness, identity, lateposts, night, self, support, thoughts, understanding, views, writing

My Lit Fantasia

The whole concept of having a unique identity is a strangely comforting, yet terrifying thing to comprehend. In some ways, it is a way to show the world that you do not conform to their stereotypes and ideals. In other ways, it makes you a target – an archery post of sorts, for those wishing to lash out with their arrows of steel-tipped mercilessness. And still in other ways, it is a shroud of responsibility, one that tells you that you need to uphold this very notion of self.

Hello, reader.

This is a fairly unconventional way for me to start a post.

The truth is, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking into the concept of the self. What is it? How does one define it? Why does an idea such as this even exist? And how is this supposed “self” formed?

I hear the rabble-rousing of dogs outside…

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Building self empowerment

boundaries, gratitude, happiness, peace, peacewithinme, selfempowerment

Peace Within Me

It’s important to be discerning of how much time you choose to spend with people who may not be in alignment with your own nature or those you may feel constantly depleted after interacting with. Of course, you can still be accepting of them but looking after your own well-being as the priority.

Being responsible for your own peace of mind is using your own gauge as to how you feel with certain people and taking action as to how long you choose to spend in the interaction. This gets easier as you form clear boundaries within yourself as to what you choose to do for your own peace of mind.

Sometimes, it’s just a matter of firstly being conscious of how you do feel and listening to this indication. Then you can start to understand that your time is precious and the way you choose to use it can…

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