Public Transport Panic

Mental Health

Echoes of Em

On September 12th, 2017, a woman was rude to me on public transport. Five months later, I’m still thinking about it – this is the reality of anxiety sufferers.
When I take the train at peak times, I often choose not to take a seat, even though the train is relatively empty where I get on. I am afraid I won’t be able to get off at my stop if I don’t stand near the door. However, on this occasion – I was attending a workshop at an alternate venue – I did decide to take a seat.
Everyone’s experience of anxiety is different – but this is my experience. Before I get on the train, I purchase a ticket. This will minimise the stress of an encounter with the ticket person. I read the scrolling text on the platform at least three times, double and triple check I am…

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Stop expecting you from people.

motherhood , lifestyle , motherhood blog , lifestyle blog , boy mom , working mama , mama , personal blog , friendships , friend , love

Somehow Surviving

One of the harshest realities I have learned lately is to not expect other people to do what you would do for them. It’s an easy philosophy to understand on the surface but when it comes down to the roots of what it really means, for me it’s led to a lot of heartache. Isn’t that a thing also? Expectation is the root of all heartache?

I have found that just because you have a big heart doesn’t mean everyone else does. You can spent your time doing things that are meaningful and worthwhile to you and there will still be people who don’t understand your motivation.

Just because you love someone’s child a certain way doesn’t mean they will love yours the same. For some people it is not all about snuggles and hugs and kisses and spending time together; some people are not impacted by your child’s pretense…

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Other People’s Feelings Are NOT Your Responsibility.

Career, Family, Lifestyle

I am always reading. I typically read a few books at a time, usually three to four, all about different topics and one of the ones that I’m reading right now is Girl, Stop Apologizing by Rachel Hollis. I read this excerpt and it just hit me so hard that I haven’t stopped thinking about it.

I was raised with a voice of authority that was male. My daddy is a strong and very forceful personality, and he demanded total obedience. I learned to live in hope of his approval and terrified of his displeasure. Then I met my husband when I was nineteen years old, and though he is a very different kind of man, I can recognize in retrospect that I transferred my feelings about my father to my husband. I was utterly codependent. I lived every day to please him and make him happy, and if…

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Going Gray with Narcissists/Toxic People

active , gray , narcissism , narcissist , narcissistic abuse , passive , recovery , relationships , toxic people

Groomed but Escaped

Going gray is considered the best, perhaps only way, to deal with narcissists and other toxic people.  This is easy if you are completely breaking ties with someone you can walk away from.  But what about the people in your life you can’t escape?

Two summers ago I had a major altercation with my parents.  We had not talked for months, and  I was surprised when they asked to take me out to dinner.

The evening was fine.  We discussed frivolous topics.  Any time the conversation steered towards anything sensitive, I changed the subject.  It was hard work for me.  This is the part of “going gray” I did not understand –  going gray is not a passive endeavor, it is an active technique.

I was exhausted by the end of the evening.  As we left the restaurant my dad suggested we discuss what had happened over the summer.  I…

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We Can’t Fix Other People

Emotions, fixing people, Freedom, Love, Relationship, vulnerability

A Girl on Her Own

We can’t fix other people. We’d love to, I know. We’d solve all the world’s problems if we could just make them do things our way. Right?

However, it’s becoming common knowledge today that you can’t fix other people. Not because they’re broken and hopeless, but because you’re not them and you don’t share the same operating system. It’s not as much an issue as we can’t, but we shouldn’t.

But…because other people impact our lives, we try.

We can't fix other people. We'd love to, I know. We'd solve all the world's problems if we could just make them do things our way. Right?I can attest because I’m a person who seems to need fixing. I lead a pretty unconventional life as a writer. I make choices that serve my craft, not the social norm and that sometimes gets me in sticky spots. On top of that, I’m introspective and sensitive. I tend to be pretty open and vulnerable these days. If I’m feeling challenged or surprised by something, I’ll probably share and that often…

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My Fitness Journey | Choosing Yourself First

life , inspiration , fitness , fitness motivation , love , fitness journey , love yourself , choose yourself first

Blissfully jess

“You haven’t been yourself in about 2-3
years”
is what my mom said to me a year ago. We were
having a conversation about possible depression and seeing my doctor to get on
an antidepressant. I didn’t have health insurance at the time, so we were
trying to figure out how I was going to pay for the doctor visit, as well as
the medication. I was a mess, my mental health was a mess.

I had just started a job that I thought was my “big break” I was looking for to get my career off the ground. I was trying to convince myself that I enjoyed this job, but I really didn’t. I hated it and wasn’t good at it, at all. I would pack a gym bag to go to the gym right after work, but would talk myself out of actually going because I was “too…

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