The Truth Behind My Smile

anxiety, breakups, depression, fake, mental health awareness, mentalhealth, relationships, smile, travel

Clumsylorr Est 1990

When I posted these pictures a year ago, everyone commented on how happy I looked and they loved the smile on my face.

Reality

My relationship had traumatically come to an end two days before these pictures were taken.

This is the fakest smile.

I had just moved to start travelling, and I had two options; Stay in my hotel room and cry, or;

Force myself out of bed and get dressed

Force some fake enthusiasm to explore the country I am now alone in

I forced a fake smile.

Don’t always assume.

Not all smiles are real.

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proving the cheery people wrong

cheery, happy, pessimism, pessimistic, realist, realistic, rejecting the cheery

I Conquer Suicide Everyday

One thing I’ve realized is that I have this weird need to prove the cheery people wrong. The ones that are always trying to end cap something with *well at least* and *let me send you cat pictures to cheer you up*.

I don’t really know for sure why. I don’t mean to be a debbie downer. I’m not actually. But with them, it’s almost as though I am on purpose. Like I’m a complete realist. I don’t tell them what’s going on with the rose -colored optimism and a lift up on the end. I tell them with the exact opposite. The grim, straight-laced reality version. I’m working but it’s still not enough. I have great feedback but don’t know how to make it into an income stream. I’ve got a ton of bills that need to be paid yesterday and no idea how they will be. Yes, the…

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