Going Gray with Narcissists/Toxic People

active , gray , narcissism , narcissist , narcissistic abuse , passive , recovery , relationships , toxic people

Groomed but Escaped

Going gray is considered the best, perhaps only way, to deal with narcissists and other toxic people.  This is easy if you are completely breaking ties with someone you can walk away from.  But what about the people in your life you can’t escape?

Two summers ago I had a major altercation with my parents.  We had not talked for months, and  I was surprised when they asked to take me out to dinner.

The evening was fine.  We discussed frivolous topics.  Any time the conversation steered towards anything sensitive, I changed the subject.  It was hard work for me.  This is the part of “going gray” I did not understand –  going gray is not a passive endeavor, it is an active technique.

I was exhausted by the end of the evening.  As we left the restaurant my dad suggested we discuss what had happened over the summer.  I…

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We Can’t Fix Other People

Emotions, fixing people, Freedom, Love, Relationship, vulnerability

A Girl on Her Own

We can’t fix other people. We’d love to, I know. We’d solve all the world’s problems if we could just make them do things our way. Right?

However, it’s becoming common knowledge today that you can’t fix other people. Not because they’re broken and hopeless, but because you’re not them and you don’t share the same operating system. It’s not as much an issue as we can’t, but we shouldn’t.

But…because other people impact our lives, we try.

We can't fix other people. We'd love to, I know. We'd solve all the world's problems if we could just make them do things our way. Right?I can attest because I’m a person who seems to need fixing. I lead a pretty unconventional life as a writer. I make choices that serve my craft, not the social norm and that sometimes gets me in sticky spots. On top of that, I’m introspective and sensitive. I tend to be pretty open and vulnerable these days. If I’m feeling challenged or surprised by something, I’ll probably share and that often…

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My Fitness Journey | Choosing Yourself First

life , inspiration , fitness , fitness motivation , love , fitness journey , love yourself , choose yourself first

Blissfully jess

“You haven’t been yourself in about 2-3
years”
is what my mom said to me a year ago. We were
having a conversation about possible depression and seeing my doctor to get on
an antidepressant. I didn’t have health insurance at the time, so we were
trying to figure out how I was going to pay for the doctor visit, as well as
the medication. I was a mess, my mental health was a mess.

I had just started a job that I thought was my “big break” I was looking for to get my career off the ground. I was trying to convince myself that I enjoyed this job, but I really didn’t. I hated it and wasn’t good at it, at all. I would pack a gym bag to go to the gym right after work, but would talk myself out of actually going because I was “too…

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You’re blocked

happiness, personal effectiveness, resilience

ctraceyb

One of my many talents is being able to project negatively into the future and predict calamity and doom.  Although it is something, I am good at, it is not good for my wellbeing and resilience.  And oftent I find myself worrying about something that will never happen.  I am aware that people say ‘plan for the worst and hope for the best’, however I think we can struggle with the later.  

The trouble is worrying is a complete waste of time and energy because we worry about something that may never happen and then if it doeswe worry again.  We could half the time spent worrying by just waiting to see if we actually need to.  When you get right down to it, it is inefficient and we could use the time more wisely. 

So I have decided…

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Identity

actions, beliefs, happiness, identity, lateposts, night, self, support, thoughts, understanding, views, writing

My Lit Fantasia

The whole concept of having a unique identity is a strangely comforting, yet terrifying thing to comprehend. In some ways, it is a way to show the world that you do not conform to their stereotypes and ideals. In other ways, it makes you a target – an archery post of sorts, for those wishing to lash out with their arrows of steel-tipped mercilessness. And still in other ways, it is a shroud of responsibility, one that tells you that you need to uphold this very notion of self.

Hello, reader.

This is a fairly unconventional way for me to start a post.

The truth is, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking into the concept of the self. What is it? How does one define it? Why does an idea such as this even exist? And how is this supposed “self” formed?

I hear the rabble-rousing of dogs outside…

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Building self empowerment

boundaries, gratitude, happiness, peace, peacewithinme, selfempowerment

Peace Within Me

It’s important to be discerning of how much time you choose to spend with people who may not be in alignment with your own nature or those you may feel constantly depleted after interacting with. Of course, you can still be accepting of them but looking after your own well-being as the priority.

Being responsible for your own peace of mind is using your own gauge as to how you feel with certain people and taking action as to how long you choose to spend in the interaction. This gets easier as you form clear boundaries within yourself as to what you choose to do for your own peace of mind.

Sometimes, it’s just a matter of firstly being conscious of how you do feel and listening to this indication. Then you can start to understand that your time is precious and the way you choose to use it can…

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Choosing how we feel

Abraham Hicks, beliefs, depression, happiness, perfection, relief, thoughts, vibration, voluntarism

zacalstin

Having the attitude that “everything is perfect exactly as it is” feels good.

For melancholics in particular it may be an expression of providence: the knowledge that all things are working towards the good.

If all things are working towards the good, and we know it, then it follows that everything is perfect exactly as it is.

Not perfect in the sense that it is complete, but perfect in the sense that we are where we are meant to be, everything is as it is meant to be.

This isn’t a question of judgement or assessment, it’s about attitude and feeling.

If you have the attitude of recognising everything is perfect as it is, then you will feel that everything is perfect as it is.

And by contrast, if you don’t feel good, you must be thinking or believing that not everything is perfect.

We see this reflected in the…

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Freedom, Independence, and Loneliness

freedom , people , featured , realtionships , happiness , psychology , philosophy , loneliness

Florida Girl Writes

Outside, the sun shines through clouds, tempting those stuck behind a window, wishing they could feel it on their skin. As a prisoner of responsibility, one is never free of anything. There is always something keeping you back. When we think of freedom we think of it as having the capability to do whatever we want, whenever we want. Of course, the case isn’t true with the average person: there’s work, family, pets, bills, and so much more that we’re responsible for.

Freedom consists of three main principles:

1. The absence of human coercion or restraint preventing one from choosing the alternatives one would wish.

2. The absence of physical constraints in natural conditions which prevent one from achieving one’s chosen objectives.

3. The possession of the means or the power to achieve the objective one chooses of one’s own volition.

Rashan John, Pathanamthitta, Kerala, India

What happens when you…

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